Finding Your Pets a Home After You Die
There is something I see all the time on Facebook and it makes me so sad and angry at the same time - friends or acquaintances of someone who has passed are seeking a forever home for the pets left behind because the owner did not plan for this. Usually there are a couple pets - a pair of dogs, a few cats!
Many of these pets as a result end up in a shelter or rescue, in a cage for an unknown amount of time because there was no plan for them and folks are just posting photos hoping to find a miracle.
Typically if they are not puppies or kittens, these pets will struggle to get adopted in this way.
It makes me so sad.
Can you imagine…
growing up in a cozy home, with a human or a family, having your comforts - your backyard to play in or look at, your pet bed, favorite toys and cuddling up with your humans every day….
only to then be dropped off at some facility at age 12 to be put in a cage…
A confusing, disorienting time - where is your person? why are they taking you from your home?
Who are these people handling me? Why is it so loud here? Why is the food different….
Animals absolutely go into depression and freeze mode. They fold into on themselves, lose zest for life and are shell shocked at the trauma of all this. And they could live in that shelter cage for YEARS like this, after having had a loving home for 12 years….Can you imagine? My heart breaks because we’ve known many an elder kitty in our sitting days who are just loves, and delicate and have their sweet routines and cozy places in their happy homes. I cannot imagine up-ending their life to see them go into a shelter cage for the next 5 years. It’s just inhumane.
Can they bounce back?
Many can, yes, with the right human love, patience and attention. But do they deserve that course of events? Absolutely not. To me, it’s neglect on the part of the original owner.
If you had a kid, you’d make sure they had a god parent in place, right?
Why is literally no one doing this with their pets?!
The onus really is on the owner to plan for their pets after they die.
And it’s really not that hard. And, kudos to you reading this if you already have a plane in place!
A few years ago, one of my clients asked if Nate and I would take her 2 cats if she ever passed. She had generous funds for them set aside and everything. While we were not in a position to say yes for many reasons, I offered to help her find sanctuaries or homes for them now, so she had a safe landing place for them in the event of her passing. (She had just been diagnosed with breast cancer, so all of this was top of mind for her.) With a little research, I found 3-4 cat homes and sanctuaries within a few hours of South Jersey that she could contact. She ended up choosing one in PA and actually went there to visit one day and loved it. So, now she has a safe home for her cats to go if she passes before them.
It just takes a little preparation and you can change the trajectory of their final years for the better instead of leaving it to chance.
Here’s how you can start today:
1.) Start putting money into a Pet Fund for your pet’s needs after you pass. My client had a nice sum of money for her cats care, so wherever they landed, she knew their needs would be taken care of. In the US, there is also such a thing called a Pet Trust, where you can allocate funds, appoint a caregiver and leave instructions. It’s legally binding and enforceable by law.
2.) Keep a current copy of your pet’s routines on hand - food, medicines, walks, play, sleep routines & vet info. Typical of what you might leave for your pet sitter - have that in a prominent place in your home and digitally share it with trusted people so someone has access to it. (Tip: if someone you know does die, their pet sitter is probably your best bet at knowing the rhythms and routines of the pet and having current copy of instructions.)
3.) Ask trusted individuals in your life if they would be interested in taking your pet once you pass, forever. Make sure they have no intentions of adopting them out or taking them to a shelter. If they are serious, tell them you intend to include this in your will and make sure they are okay with that.
It would be ideal if the pet went to someone they already know - extended family, a pet sitter, a neighbor, etc.
Make sure if the new home has other pets, children, etc - that your pet would be okay in that situation and not stressed out. If not, best to find a pet parent situation that is more ideal - for an older dog or cat, a quiet, calm home would be best, especially because they will also be grieving you for a long time.
If you don’t have someone who can take your pet long term, at least find someone who can be the interim caregiver and who will carry out your intentions for the pet upon your passing. They will be the ones to care for the pet until they can get it to the sanctuary or find a forever home for them, like a foster parent. If you elect this option, write down your intentions for the pet’s new home and, again, put this in your will. For example, if you know your pet will be best in a home without children or without other pets, make that clear. Clarify a non-smoking home, a home where they can have access to a yard, etc. to give the foster parent some guidelines as to what to look for.
4.) Do not just assume your friends, neighbor or family will keep your pets once you pass without specifically asking & making it official. They absolutely will not unless you asked & appointed them specifically and instead will be stuck trying to find a home for them, a responsibility they did not sign up for and that may not be a priority for them.
Also, these folks are not trained in vetting potential pet parents and could make a big mistake, leaving your pet in the hands of people who are not going to have the pet’s best interest at hand.
Lastly, if they don’t find a home, your pet will land in a shelter at an old age, which is just sad and totally preventable with the right steps ahead of time.
Basically, don’t choose this option. It’s the worst one for your pets!
5.) Google cat sanctuaries, animal sanctuaries (many take dogs) and the like near you. Take an hour or so and do some research. We are in NJ and found some in PA and NY that were viable. They may not be super local, but should be within a few hours. Make a decent list that seem viable for you. For example, one of my client’s kitties had FIV, so we had to make sure the homes took cats with this disease.
6.) Draft an email template that you can copy/paste and send it to each main contact of the list you’ve created - asking if their organization would be a place where you can leave your pets when you pass.
7.) Plan a visit! When you find some viable options, choose your favorites and plan a visit to see where you feel is the best home for your pet. Then, do whatever preparations are necessary with that organization to get your pet on their list for when the time comes.
8.) Once you have found an organization or a person who you feel comfortable leaving your pet with forever, make it official and update your will with this information. This way, whether you die in 20 years or tomorrow, your pet will be in good hands and will not end up in some cold shelter cage for an unknown amount of time.
Do the right thing - find the next home for your pets now.
