How to Make a Major Life or Career Decision (Even If No One Gets It)
If you are at a sort of cross roads in your life right now, wondering if the step you want to take is the right way for you, stay with me. I know what it’s like to make life path decisions that are unconventional, that no one else understands and that people would generally advise against. lol.
Not everyone is made to live this way. We are a niche brand, but keep reading to find out if you’re one of us and gain clarity for your next life leap.
Why I Get It
I’m not sure exactly how I got this way, considering I can also be a really great people-pleaser and good-girl archetype, but when I want to be divergent from the masses, I don’t ask permission. I just move and let people react how they will.
I think a big part of having the courage to move like that has to do with being in tune with your soul’s energy - sometimes you just cannot do the alternative. You can feel your soul will just die. So you take the road less traveled, which feels mostly like peace and also a little scary, but you know it’s the right road for you.
I wonder also if it’s a little of my Virgo Queen-ness (aka, we always know what’s best for us, no one knows better than us, lol) added to my Leo-Moon I-need-to-stand-out-ness, but I honestly hate doing what everyone else is doing and prefer to be the one to not follow the norm. There is definitely a part of me that likes being the different one, but not in a loud way, in a move-quietly way.
Maybe it’s because I did so well at fitting in for so long, culminating with the ultimate by becoming a nun and really sticking that landing. It’s like I won that level of the game, and then I was like Cool, I’m gonna live my life however I want to now, no one’s permission required. And honestly, after my experience in and out of the convent, I also did not feel the need to be accepted anywhere because I already felt interiorly so different from my peers that I knew there was no way I would ever be a normal 30 year old, so I didn’t really seek to be accepted like a normal 30 year old. It was pretty liberating. It gave me a lot of inner freedom to just do me and not get hung up on what people thought of my choices.
But! My unconventional life choices did not begin post-convent! I have made them all my life…
A List of My Unconventional Life Choices (Life Path/Job Related:)
Chose a lesser known high school where very few of my classmates were going because “it felt like home”
Left my teaching job straight up mid-year to enter the convent “because it was time.”
Left religious life after 7+ amazing years as a catholic nun, 3 months shy of final vows. I was beloved by everyone, was in a leadership position, and could’ve stayed for life—traveling, provided for. But I was miserable actually. My soul could not stay there any longer. “It was time.”
After 4 years, left my teaching job very burnt out, with no job in sight. Landed one 2 months later.
Left NJ to move to AZ, with no job lined up. Found part-time work in a month, full-time by the second.
After 3 years, left my full time job in AZ with no plan other than to be a Virtual Assistant. No website, no clients. Got clients that summer, and along with house sitting and a very part time job, made it work.
While house sitting for family friends, I said Yes to neighbors who asked if I was a pet sitter (I guess I was now?!) 6 years later that yes has been a huge pillar of income for me (and personal and business growth!)
Although not actively job seeking, saw an ad in Fall 2020 that was so well crafted, I applied based on vibe alone. Did not apply to anything else that season. Landed that and we are still working together today!
Left my W2 job this past year with 2 VA clients in hand and a prayer. Now I have 3 steady clients who I love and a handful of project based clients who are also lovely humans. Also, my former employer hired me back as a contractor on my terms, which felt great (the 2020 Vibe Ad!)
I choose working less over having my own place because I need free time and a spacious schedule. I cannot work 40 hours doing something every week. I am not built for that. So I prefer to work less than most people, but my tax is moving homes every few weeks. I’ve learned in life you get to choose your hard. I choose house sitting over 40 hours any day!
Your Foundational Orientation to Life Herself Matters
So that is just a short list of some of my more unconventional life path choices to show you that I’ve definitely taken leaps that more conservative or fear-based people may never even fathom. I will say that foundationally, I believe that life is benevolent and that I am blessed and taken care of. Maybe that comes from my healthy family upbringing, maybe it comes from my spirituality and trust in the Divine. A little of both. My stepmom once said to me amidst one of my life choices, You always land on your feet. And it’s true because I always expect to be taken care of by Life - if I am putting in my part of being a kind, discerning, sincere human being, and really trying to follow my soul’s direction. It won’t be a silver spoon, but I will be more than okay. I believe Life blesses that kind of soul courage.
So I think that makes a difference here too - how you orient to your soul’s guidance and Life Herself matters when you are choosing to take leaps that are divergent from the norm. Either you feel supported by Life or not. If you don’t, you likely will not be living this way. You will need more tangible security (which is also an illusion, but that’s for another day! lol.)
Yes to your Intuition, but Nervous System is also Playing a Huge Role
Our nervous systems play a huge role in these life moments - one that I was not even aware of during most of the choices on that list. I would say my nervous system generally seeks out and feels safety in a peaceful environment and lifestyle, whereas other systems actually feel safe with more chaos and stress, based on their upbringing and what’s been normalized to their systems.
So you can see how, for me, when things got too stressful (like burnout level,) I needed to leave. It did not matter that I had nothing lined up, I was in survival mode and the only thing that mattered was getting myself out of those environments. I knew with some peaceful recovery time afterwards, I would have new direction again. But I do see other people kind of go from one fire to the next in their life, one chaotic situation to another one and honestly it’s hard for me to understand why anyone would want to live that way, but at the end of the day I believe it’s what feels safe and known to their nervous system, even though it’s diametricly opposed to mine. (It’s also why some people only find themselves in chaotic or drama relationships…a peaceful love is not known to them, so it’s not safe.)
So, what kind of work environment & lifestyle make you feel safe right now?
Can you reflect on the part your nervous system and history play a part in that answer?
It’s important because some choices will demand that we intentionally choose what is less safe to us, with the end of growth in mind. Growth can feel scary. For someone who needs peace and ease, the stress of moving to a new state can feel scary. But for someone who feels safe in stress, starting another business will feel safe, even though to others it makes no sense. Some people can’t feel safe in quiet or dead air. The rest of us can’t feel safe in noise and loads of stimulation. It’s not right or wrong - it’s just our entire life history speaking through our bodies.
Choices of Resonance vs. Growth
So I think with life path choices, it is important to first discern - what’s the purpose of this change?
Is it safety only? Like, this environment is overwhelming or toxic and I just need out?
But let’s say you are safe either way. Then you are looking at:
Is it growth? Because if it is, you should get okay with feeling more uncomfortable than peaceful. The move will likely ask you to expand your capacity in some way, and that feels like a stretch.
Or is it resonance? That home feeling. I want to work here because “these are my people” “this is my vibe” - in which case, you likely will feel like you are surrounded by your frequency, so a resonance, a sameness, a home.
Are you pushing past your growth edges, or are you seeking your tribe? Or a little of both could be happening because sometimes to expand your capacity for something you already enjoy, you need to push past your zone of comfort. We are getting meta here, but here’s some concrete examples:
Resonance: I have always applied to jobs based on values/mission/vibe (nope, not paycheck. Shocker.) I need to feel like I am energetically aligned with the purpose of the place: yoga studios, book stores, organic juice bars, art centers, therapy centers, holistic health businesses. Even the convent I entered was based on resonance! These are resonance based decisions. (It’s also extremely Virgo! Virgos are known to need to feel connected to their work energetically.)
That job I applied for in 2020 based on the vibe? That was resonance, not growth. The position wasn’t anything I hadn’t already done before. It was basically an easy position for me. But the vibe of the owner, the practice, the team - that was where I wanted to be. It was resonance based.
Growth: I need to work for myself on my own schedule, so I knew I needed to get to a palce where I was no longer an employee. In order to get there, I needed to expand my capacity - I had to hold down my W2 job, while taking on Virtual Assistant clients on the side and maintaing them. This was a stretch for me because it meant working more hours than usual, and for more people than usual. I did this for 7 months before I felt prepared to take the leap.
Not Everyone is Built to Live This Way. But Maybe You Are?
In the end, making non-linear unconventional life choices is a cocktail of:
your nervous system history - (how you feel safe)
the family system you grew up in - (Is Life Herself benevolent or not?)
what feels like a Yes to your spirit (Divine Guidance & Inner Compass)
a dash of faith and/or magic (trusting in what I cannot see or know)
That’s why not everyone can live this way.
It is a pretty specific recipe.
It can also shift over time. Going from making choices heavily based in safety to, once nervous system stuff is healed, making uncomfortable choices intentionally towards growth, for example.
There are loads of people on this earth who would look at a life-list like mine and be like there is no way I could have made decisions like that and felt at peace. There would be concerns about money, housing or fears about what parents would say or do, about career tracks and so on.
But if you have this particular recipe and often feel led to make unconventional life path choices - you are probably one of us and I’m here to say that you can live this way and it’s going to be more-than-okay for you! We were not meant to live in the traditional, mainstream way - making linear, logical life choices. (How boring, really, IMO!) It’s really a blessing because there is something about our soul make-up that allows us to deeply Trust in Life and know She is on our side, so we feel safe to take leaps into the unknown and follow our soul urgings. Our soul expands into those places, adjusts and grows into more of who we are to be vs. taking steps into known tracks or places where we can assume a certain outcome.
If you resonated with this blog (see what I did there?!) and are seeking encouragement around taking your next life leap, a Life Path Reading would be very supportive for you:
These 1:1s offer grounded guidance to help you make aligned decisions in work, business, or life transitions.
Clarity on your next career move or pivot
Leaving a toxic job or the 9–5 grind
Starting a side gig or exploring entrepreneurial nudges
Guidance around moving, relocating, or big life shifts
Book your Reading here and let’s dive in! I love supporting souls taking the leaps!
